Get Out Those Terrible Towels!

Unfortunately, there’s no local audience for Ravens-ripping, so this Steelers fan will have to resort to the same old Browns bashing that all those annoying, black-and-gold donning, trucker hat wearing, mustached, mulleted, peopleofwalmart–ish folks like to dish out this time of year. 

If only Browns fans were any different, yunz might be able to retaliate!

The Browns/Steelers rivalry is on life-support at this point.  The matchup hasn’t gotten much better than the 43-0 drubbing the black and gold gave the Brownies in their return to the NFL in 1999.  That game is still one of my “Remember where you were when…”  games.  I don’t think I ever laughed so hard while watching sports.  Since their unglorious return to the NFL in 1999, the Clowns are 4-21 against Blitzburgh.  Of those 21 losses, they were shut out four times. 

Ask any Steelers fan what team they hate the most and correct answer is Baltimore.  Ask any (intelligent) Browns fan what team they hate the worst and the correct answer is (or should be) Baltimore.  The Cleveland-Pittsburgh rivalry is unique in this case.  Armchair quarterbacks in Northeast Ohio and Eastern Pennsylvania should be embracing from the Warehouse district to Allentown with every Ravens loss!  Many teams in many sports divisions have shared rivals, but in the last two decades, I challenge you to find any two teams in any sport that have as many separate, but good reasons to puke in one’s own mouth at the mere mention of another team. 

And it’s not just because they’re purple (nothing wrong with those Vikings up in Minnesota, dontcha know!).  Baltimore STOLE another city’s football team and had the nerve to embrace it as their own.  They immortalize a linebacker who was on trial for murder.  This certainly doesn’t make James Harrison’s idiocy and Roethlisberger’s issues with women acceptable by any stretch, but last I checked, they hadn’t been on trial, only to be found not guilty largely due to the fact that the star witness was an admitted con artist, hoping for leniency in his convictions of identification fraud.  The other linebackers aren’t any better.  Bart Scott has often complained about dirty hits…from WIDE RECEIVERS.  Umm… memo to Scott: you are a LINEBACKER. 

Okay, okay, so I’ve convinced nary an orange and brown soul to divert his or her hatred for the Steel City to B-more and jump on the black and gold bandwagon.  That being said, this fan has always extended an open, warm invitation for those Ohioans that are tired of rooting for a perennial loser.  Don’t say I didn’t try! 

So what kind of Steelers fan are you?  See my next blog for a quiz that narrows down just exactly where you fall on the Steelers-Browns fan’s spectrum.  Find out if you identify best with Terrible Towelers, Bandwagoners, or if you’re more of a Dawg Pound Dweller.